Hurt is real. It is deep; it picks the slightest and deepest wounds imaginable. Years of hurt make it far too easy to take pride in “being tough”. This tough side doesn’t allow us to focus on God or glorify him. Pride is the root of many sins. In the past few weeks and month, I have paraded around in pride. Pride in not wanting to accept help (a I can do everything mentality, I’ve been hurt enough I don’t need people) Crutches certainly don’t allow this view to stick! My knee injury occurred on January 8th, it is now February 15th. Definitely more than a month later, healing apparently takes time and so does God tearing down pride!
My pride doesn’t just get tabbed down solely to doing everything on my own but also pride in being hurt. That’s right. Yesterday was Valentine’s Day; it was always huge with my mom. As kids we always had a box of chocolates waiting on us. Last year I had a hugs from home package, which I smirked off as nothing. Mocking the simple attempt to appease me or make amends. While deep down I secretly liked getting the package. This year was quite different, my mother and I argued over how I’ve failed at so much and how my cell phone was disconnected. No package this year. No email. No text. No call. Nothing from her this year, not even the faintest I love you. I took pride in being hurt; I wanted to know she still cared. I knew packages would eventually end. Yet when they did my world fractured. I expected hurt that finally came through and took pride in being right.
Pride is a horrid sin for which the Lord hates and will address in our lives. Last night I was stuck between to chapters in scripture psalm 51 and Obadiah. Psalm 51:1-2 “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.” And Psalm 51:17 “My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.
Pride is crushing and develops a horrible attitude and outlook on things. In Obadiah the people of Edom were prideful. Obadiah 1:2-4 “See, I will make you small among the nations; you will be utterly despised. The pride of your heart has deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rocks and make your home on the heights, you who say to yourself, ‘Who can bring me down to the ground?’ Though you soar like the eagle and make your nest among the stars, from there I will bring you down,” declares the LORD. From where we are God can bring us down and will. He will do whatever it takes, even if it means physical pain. (In my case a knee injury) Brokenness hurts but is ok. A broken and contrite heart the Lord will not despise.